Umpire Atsuko
by xHungDossx
Summary: Armed with a mother's intuition, love, and her fists Atsuko becomes the ultimate peacemaker!


"She would've waited a millennium, if you had asked."

"I know that already."

"No, you don't!" Atsuko exclaimed slamming her fist on the counter. "That's why I'm telling you!"

"If you're not going to eat, leave." Yusuke hissed. "You're scaring away valuable customers."

"Ingrate!" Atsuko reached inside of her pocket and pulled out a couple of yen. "By the time you finish that bowl I'll have said all I need to say."

A second later a piping bowl on ramen was placed before her.

"What'd I tell you about being a show off?" She growled. "Are you trying to rob your poor mother?"

"Poor my ass! What happened to the ten thousand yen I gave you the other day?"

The thirty five year old looked confused. Then she snapped her fingers, "I bought clothes."

He scoffed. Such a liar, it was probably cigarettes again. She'll die a smoky death with the rate she was going.

"Think that again and I'll knock the taste out of your mouth." Atsuko threatened holding up her fist.

"Try me old lady!" He challenged.

"Demon or not I'm going to trash you!" She yelled. "I brought you in this world, I'll take you out."

Leaning over the countertop, she grabbed his collar. Yusuke fought his instincts and stood perfectly still. As annoying as she was, he wasn't going to sock his mom.

Why was she suddenly prying in his life now? What happened to her "live and let live" motto?

"Listen to me you little punk, I don't know what the hell happened between the two of you but you better be a man and step up to the plate." Atsuko said lowly. "Or you'll get hit with your own bat."

"How thoughtful of you now can you lay off?"

She bounced off the counter without warning nearly knocking them both to the ground. Luckily, Yusuke had the brains enough to respond.

"I'd say nice catch but we already know you have no game."

This woman really had no idea what he'd been through. Yusuke realized right then that he should do something before she ran off at the mouth again.

"She braved fire and demons. She freaking walked into demon central for your ass and you won't even _call _her?" Crap, he missed his chance.

He could feel the strikes piling up against him.

That woman loved Keiko more than her own flesh and blood.

If he hadn't met Keiko, she'd probably be happier. Heck, maybe he'd be better off. In other words, it was all his fault for coming in her life.

"I swear if you think that again you'll be down for the count." Atsuko said gripping his collar tighter.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" Yusuke asked prying her hands off of him.

"I just don't want you to end up like your father and me, Yusuke."

And he was out.

The words came without rancor or any other deep feelings. It was a little too blunt for comfort.

"That's why you have to marry Keiko, Yu-chan." She grinned. "She's good for you. She's the reason neither of us have landed in jail."

Even though his mother was smiling, he could tell she was threatening him again.

"Of course there is another reason."

"What other reason?"

"I want cute grandbabies!" Atsuko said as she stretched his cheeks. "That's why no matter how temping you can't runaway with that cute little red head." Kurama would kill her if he heard that.

"Also definitely not with the short stuff (though he seems asexual anyhow) and no Kazuma (sweet kid not too much in the face department though)."

"Get away from me." Yusuke twitched at all the visual images. He was going to be haunted forever!

Atsuko, ignoring her son, pulled him into her arms. "Shizuru is a bit too old for ya and Botan well she's not exactly a solid deal."

Pretending not to hear what she was saying, he relaxed in her grip. It felt kind of…nice. When was the last time he was hugged by his mom?

"So that's why you have to admit you were wrong or else you'll be traded."

"Why did I have to do something wrong?"

Atsuko patted his back and left the embrace. "It's 'cause you're a guy. I mean you were the last time I checked."

"What kind of sexist-"

Atsuko jumped over to the over end and flashed him a smile. "Call it a tie and a start a fairer game, kay?"

"Like I said it's not my fault. Keiko's just bitching aga-"

He felt something hard collide with his cheek. It took him a moment to realize he had been hit with something.

"What the hell is this?"

"It's your anniversary present." With that, the woman walked off.

Attached to the wrinkled wrapping paper was a small card. _Here's a present to congratulate you for putting up with one another for all this time. _

Before he could let curiosity get the better of him and open it, the male heard something calling for him.

"Hey! Got any sake?"

"Coming right up!" Yusuke looked below the counter and searched for a bottle. When he came back up he held a small paper in his hand.

_And this is mine._

He cursed. That woman always had a hidden agenda.

"Where's my drink?"

"Shut up!"

That night, he walked to Keiko's. Not to reconcile he told himself but because he didn't want to open the present without her. When he got there, he found the female waiting for him. She didn't look too happy to be there either.

Without saying "Hi" he leaned against the wall next to her. He could feel her parents' eyes through the store window.

"You look like nice." She looked like shit.

"You couldn't hit this if you tried." Keiko remarked stuffing her hands in her pockets.

After a long silence Keiko continued, "Atsuko put you up to this?"

He wasn't going to lie, "Yep."

She glared over at him as if telling him to piss off.

"Don't give me that look. You know she's the reason you're out here too."

She rolled her eyes. "I, unlike some people, have enough common sense to know when I'm wrong."

He was just about to tell her off when he realized she was offering a truce. Perhaps he had been a little hot headed. They both were.

"Still want to take a swing at me?"

"Yes."

"Too bad because you're going to be loving me before the night's over." He neared her and kissed her battered cheek.

She returned the favor then moved away. "Monogamy." One word and she killed the mood.

"I'm faithful you know."

She just pointed to her ring finger.

"Gold digger," Yusuke mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Thankfully, she didn't have hearing like he did. "You wanna catch a movie?"

Keiko shrugged. Outwardly she was nonchalant. In actuality she was trying her hardest to control her mirth.

"What happened to your cheek?" Yusuke asked as he reached for her hand.

She looked away. "I might've called you a bastard in front of your mom."

"Huh?"

Thank goodness he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

"Oh wait!" Yusuke pulled out the present from his jacket pocket.

"What's that?"

"I don't know my mom said it was an anniversary present."

He ripped off the wrapping paper.

Keiko gasped, "It's beautiful."

Yusuke groaned. "It's just a picture of us as kids with glitter around the frame."

"No, Yusuke those are diamonds."

He did a double take.

The young man snickered, "I'm so pawning this!" He ran in the opposite direction. Keiko obviously having objections to losing such a priceless gift gave chase.

Inside the Yukimura diner the three adults laughed.

"I have to give you props Atsuko I didn't believe those kids would ever make up." Keiko's father said.

"I'm so glad we called you," Keiko's mother said. "I just wish you weren't so violent."

The girl just needed a better pitch.

"That's the only way kids nowadays will learn anything with them being so thickheaded!" Her husband retorted. "Now we'll get those grandkids we always wanted."

Atsuko took a swig of her drink and laughed.

Years ago, she had a bad case of hot feet. She'd run so fast that she'd never been able to bask in the glory of reaching home. Hopefully, Yusuke would manage to park it.

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